Jessica of Jessica Elyse Events has been in this business long enough to know what she works for her and what doesn’t. This is why it was easy for her to decide what wedding trends and traditions she’d be embracing at her upcoming nuptials, and which things she won’t be doing at her wedding. We asked the wedding-planner-turned-soonlywed to spill the tea on her wedding plans and she delivered. If you want to read which details, moments, and expenses a wedding planner thinks are really worth it, check out her guest post below!

From Jessica…

We will not have our wedding party stand with us during the ceremony.

We understand how much goes into being part of a wedding party, and we want our friends to enjoy the day as much as we will. As a guest whose partner is a part of the wedding, I’ve always hated being separated from my significant other for most of the day. We want them to be able to sit with their partners and be a guest. This will allow them to relax and take the pressure off.

We will not be introducing the wedding party into the reception.

Personally, I think it’s uncomfortable to walk into a room full of people you don’t really know and be introduced. Our wedding party won’t have to plan anything or worry about specific songs or props. Formal introductions also take time away from our wedding party being able to enjoy cocktail hour since we would have to pull them away to get lined up and ready. It’s an easy adjustment that will save time in the long run and eliminate extra pressure from our friends.

We will not have favors.

As a wedding planner, I see favors left behind 90% of the time. They are an extra expense that aren’t necessary, and we will have a cookie table with bags that guests can take home instead.

We are not serving cake to all our guests.

It’s a waste of money, in my opinion. Even if you do serve cake to every guest, not everyone will eat it. The rest of the cake usually gets thrown away, unfortunately. Instead, we will have a few cake cups added to the cookie table for those that really want a piece of cake or something similar.

We are not providing any signage or programs for the ceremony.

The ceremony will be short and simple and not at a church, so the programs are unnecessary. We are also having the ceremony in the same place as our reception, with our wedding being the only event there, so signage isn’t needed.

We are not having any flower girls or ring bearers.

Too many of our friends have little ones that we wouldn’t be able to choose. Also, we didn’t want to worry about the kids not cooperating the day of, which often happens!

We are not setting up our ceremony chairs facing forward.

I feel that when the processional begins and all the guests stand, it’s hard to see the aisle. Turning the chairs inward allows an easy view for everyone, and I think it makes it more inclusive for the couple.

We are not doing a garter or bouquet toss.

I hate it. It’s awkward to watch and an old tradition that I don’t need to be a part of. Most of our friends are married or in serious relationships, and I cringe at the thought of my closest friends and family watching my fiance take off my garter.

We are not assigning tasks to our wedding party.

The one and only reason we are asking our party to be in the wedding is because they are our closest friends and we want them next to us to support us on our big day. I don’t want them stressed and worrying about tasks or duties. They are our friends not employees, and I don’t want anyone to look back and think that the day their friends got married was nothing but a job.

I am not asking my bridesmaids to wear a specific dress.

I don’t care. Wear whatever you feel confident in because I’ve never felt 100% confident in a bridesmaid dress. I also don’t care about the girls being uniform with dresses or colors. I genuinely like the look of the bridesmaids being in different outfits. When you get pictures taken, it looks like it’s just you and your friends, not a bride and her bridesmaids.

We are not inviting kids.

We don’t want our friends or staff to have to worry about watching them.

We are not reading our vows publicly.

That’s an intimate and private moment that we want to share between the two of us only, with no one and no distractions around.

We are not taking any photos during cocktail hour.

We are not missing the cocktail hour; it’s the best time to just relax, mingle, eat, grab a drink, and listen to music. It’s the first chance to settle and actually be in the moment at our wedding, so we want to take all photos prior.

We are not having a long ceremony.

Our ceremony might be outside and we don’t want our guests to be uncomfortable. We also don’t need all the ceremony extras, such as traditions or readings. It’s hard to keep everyone’s attention, and we just want to highlight the main important parts, which are us as a couple and the start of our married life together.

We are not doing boutonnieres for the groomsmen.

They’re a waste of money, in my opinion. I always see the guys messing around and the boutonnieres fall off or get smashed. They don’t pay enough attention to notice if it’s sideways or needs to be fixed, so they then look messy in photos. I think photos look just as good without them.

We are not doing hotel welcome bags.

Most of our guests are local and we are also providing late night food at the reception. I don’t think the extra snacks are needed on top of that. Hotels can’t guarantee that every single guest will receive one. Sometimes an employee may not be paying attention and forget, or a guest may have booked outside of the block. I’ve seen so many hotel welcome bags left over, that they end up being a waste of money.

We are not doing a champagne toast or tower.

They are great for photos but I think they’re a waste of money. Plus, we really don’t drink champagne. Guests can get a drink of their choosing for toasts.

We are not doing a specialty exit.

Personally, I think this pulls time away from the party and it’s awkward to ask all of your guests to stop what they’re doing and go stand in a line. Those aren’t the photos I’m going to print and hang on my wall, and I’ve had too many sketchy encounters with drunk guests and sparklers that I don’t feel comfortable about it. Plus, we’re having an after party so we’d be basically saying goodbye to everyone just to see them again 20 minutes later.

We are not doing a memory table.

I want to honor our loved ones who cannot be there, however, I think a memory table can sometimes take everyone to a sad place. I don’t want guests to stop and stare and think of those who aren’t there. I plan to incorporate special memories and reminders of those who passed into the day in other ways, like incorporating a charm on my bouquet or having a piece of my grandparents’ clothing sewn into my dress.

We are not purchasing a neon sign.

They are overdone and I have no use for hanging that in my house afterwards. I also hate long chords and don’t want to bother with where it would be hung.

We are not letting anyone outside of the photographers and videographers to be near or around us for the first look.

That’s a private moment, and nobody needs to be there except us and those vendors capturing the first look.

We are not traveling to multiple locations for photos.

It’s a waste of time and money with travel coverage. I trust my photo and video team to utilize the spaces at the venue for good pictures.