“We believe your wedding celebration should feel like coming home,” explains Day One Wedding Co, a team rooted in a marriage-minded approach to wedding planning. Proudly inclusive and affirming of all couples, their services extend beyond the logistics of the wedding day – supporting the relationship you’re building long after the celebration ends. 

We had the opportunity to sit down with this husband-and-wife team to explore their perspective on how to prepare for marriage while planning a wedding. “If you want planners who care as much about your relationship as your timeline, you’ll feel right at home with us,” share Jack and Rachel. This ethos is woven into every step of their process. Through intentional prompts and guided questionnaires, couples are encouraged to have meaningful conversations that shape not only their wedding day but also their future together. 

Working with Day One Wedding Co. means stepping into a planning experience that feels organized without being rigid, creative without being chaotic, and supportive without overstepping. Consider this interview as your starting point for building a union with just as much intention as your wedding day. 

How does marriage truly differ from the dating or engagement stages?

This is the long haul. So much of the culture around dating and engagement is rooted in anticipation of what’s next – the rush of flirting, the surprises, the grand occasions. An important part of finding your partner is looking ahead. Do you see a life with this person? What kind of wedding celebration do you want?

Of course, there are milestones to look forward to, but most of married life happens in the present. It’s in the meal planning and grocery runs. It’s in how you share about your day, your thoughts and dreams. It’s in how you embrace your partner sharing those same things. It’s in how you solve problems together. It’s in the planned date nights and the spontaneous moments that become memories. It’s choosing to show up and honor your wedding vows day after day after day. 

Many dating and engaged couples may do most or all of those things. But the power of intention shifts when you say “I do.” In our personal experience, there was something incredibly powerful about making that commitment to each other, surrounded by our loved ones. Having our statement of love and intent witnessed added layers of support and accountability.

How can couples intentionally use wedding planning to strengthen their relationship?

First: “Our wedding.” Be thoughtful about the language you use when talking about the wedding, both with each other and with others. It positions you as a team, leans into this special shared experience between you and your partner, and reinforces mutual respect. 

Second: Plan time where wedding chat is actually off limits –  once a week, between certain hours of the day, or in certain locations. Instead, go on a date, host friends for dinner (and make a point to ask about their lives), work on a house project, or pursue a new hobby. 

Planning a wedding is a massive part of your life, but it’s also temporary. Just for a season (era, if you will). Investing in the other areas of your life and relationships will help you stay connected and grounded – and prevent wedding planning burnout. 

What advice do you have for couples looking to strengthen teamwork and communication during wedding planning?

Take time to learn your own and each other’s communication style and way of thinking. There are numerous tools for this (the enneagram, attachment theory, Myers-Briggs, temperaments, astrological signs). Find what resonates with you and use it as a shared language when you have trouble understanding each other’s motivations.

It’s important for couples to identify their priorities and set expectations around them. During a Day One couple’s onboarding, we have each partner rank aspects of their wedding by personal importance. We don’t worry about them matching up, because its purpose is to take stock and start the conversation – how to use the budget fairly, where to compromise, and where you’re aligned.

Take time to ask each other thoughtful questions to build a deeper understanding. What does a successful wedding weekend look and feel like to you? How can I help you achieve that? How can I support you if things don’t go to plan? 

Pro-tip: this exercise doesn’t just apply to wedding planning – you can use it for planning your life, too. 

We also suggest that couples create a plan for how they’ll share the load. We often see partners leaning into their own personal strengths and interests. A few other ideas:

• Decide who is responsible for hiring which vendors, and who gets final say in specific areas if there is no consensus
• Split logistical and creative decisions and tasks
• Alternate who takes the lead on communications and planning responsibilities (monthly, quarterly, or based on bandwidth)
• Show up together when possible – attend planning meetings and meet with vendors as a team
• Spend time reminiscing about weddings you’ve attended and discuss what elements you loved (and what you want to avoid)

Disagreements will happen. The stress will compile. In the difficult moments, remember you are on the same team. You are working together against a problem. You are working together towards a common goal.

What conversations matter most when preparing for life after the wedding day?

We like to think of wedding planning as good practice for being married. The work that it takes to plan an event of this scale echoes themes that will be present for a lifetime, including:

• Communication and teamwork, and navigating (relatively) low-stakes conflict
• Finances and budgeting
• Values and priorities
• Receiving support from loved ones
• Setting boundaries with loved ones
• Your identity as a couple and how you show up in the world

Beyond that, we encourage you to have the difficult conversations if you haven’t already. The ones that fall into the dealbreaker category. Because your wedding day should be one of freedom and joy, one that you experience with full transparency. 

To name only a few:

• Prenuptial agreements
• Independence and personal identity
• Children: desire, openness, number, fears, and parenting styles
• What happens when things go wrong?
• Infertility, lay-offs, loss of loved ones, injuries or illness, natural disaster, etc.
• Religion, spirituality, and politics
• The role of sex and intimacy in your relationship
• Personal traumas and family history

How does Day One Wedding Co. support couples in preparing for a lifelong commitment while also planning their wedding?

Indirectly: 

We alleviate pressure where we can in event logistics, giving our couples more capacity to focus on the relationship work we can’t do for them. We have recommendations for tools and resources designed by experts, and we’re happy to help you find the right fit. 

Directly:

We’ve woven our ethos into every part of our wedding planning workflow. It’s in the language we use during the booking process and throughout your engagement. We’ve built prompts into our questionnaires that encourage meaningful conversations and guide the decision-making for the wedding. And we are always rooting for you.

What’s one piece of advice every engaged couple should hear about preparing for marriage?

Go to therapy, lol.