These tips on how to be a gracious bride, which originally appeared on our site in 2015, turned out to be one of our MOST popular posts EVER. Wedding planning in the time of COVID and the start of fall wedding season seemed like a good time to bring it back! We’ve made a few updates but the point remain the same – no one wants to be called the B-word! You know the one we’re talking about – the one that insinuates you’re being selfish, controlling, unrealistic, and a whole slew of adjectives no one likes to be associated with (psst – if you haven’t figured it out yet, it’s “bridezilla”!). We will be honest with you – when you’re planning your wedding and things aren’t going quite as you had thought they would (hello global pandemic!), it’s actually not all that difficult to slip into this role, get upset, and take your frustrations out on other people, especially those that you love. We’ve all been there a time or two and it’s not pretty. Because NEWSFLASH wedding planning is stressful! But that doesn’t give you the right to mistreat your fiance, vendors, or family and friends. Instead, whenever you’re feeling that wedding planning rage is imminent, follow these few tips to be a kind, gracious, glowing bride who is beautiful both inside and out.
Say “thank you.” A lot.
Be grateful and verbally express your gratitude often to your fiance, bridal party, family, and vendors. They are helping you. Don’t forget that. Acknowledge the time, money, and/or effort that someone has given up all in the name of your big day. Overuse the words “thank you”. They’re simple, they’re free, but they go a really long way.
Be kind to your vendors.
We can’t stress this one enough. You will totally reap what you sow when it comes to relationships with your vendors. If you’re kind and gracious to them, we guarantee they’ll work extra hard to make your day spectacular. Be considerate of the fact that your wedding likely isn’t the only one they’re working on. Cut them some slack when it comes to responding to emails or phone calls. Please, please, please, feed the ones who will be working all day. Send them a thank you card (see above). Write them reviews online. Tag them in the wedding photos you share on social media after the big day. They will LOOOOOOVE you forever, we promise! Here are some more tips on how to work best with your wedding vendors!
Diversify your conversations.
By all means, be excited about your wedding! It’s a VERY exciting time! But try to not talk about it 24/7. Your friends and family are happy for you, but if we’re being honest, they probably don’t want to hear about your wedding alllllllll the time. When someone asks you a question about the wedding, go right ahead and answer them. But be sure to follow up with a question about them. Ask about what they’ve got going on and be genuinely interested in their answers. Take the same approach with your fiance too. Make a rule to routinely do non-wedding related activities together and have a weekly “Absolutely No Wedding Talk Allowed” evening.
Remember it’s not just “your” day.
Repeat after us: “I do solemnly swear to never let the words ‘It’s my wedding!’ cross my lips.” Sure, you’ll undoubtedly be the center of attention, both during planning and on the wedding day itself. But the celebration belongs to other people too, such as your fiance and your parents. Let them share the excitement and joy with you. Involve them, take their opinions into thoughtful consideration, and pick and choose your battles wisely. Often, it’s better to concede on something small that doesn’t really matter to you than it is to deal with the hurt feelings later.
Don’t expect too much from your bridesmaids.
They are not your actual maids. Don’t treat them as such. You want to continue to be friends with them after the wedding is over. So don’t make demands on their time; ask for their help instead. And if they can’t help with or attend something, be understanding. Keep them involved with planning but don’t expect them to run errands or do things that aren’t wedding-related. Also, be thoughtful of how much money you are asking them to spend. A dress, shoes, jewelry, bridal shower, bachelorette party, gifts…the costs add up quickly and can be exorbitant. Have an honest discussion with them early in the planning process to get an idea of how much they are comfortable spending and then try your best to stick to that.
Roll with the punches.
Some things will go wrong, both during the planning process and on your wedding day. It’s just Murphy’s law. Maybe your favorite photographer will already be booked, maybe the flowers you were dying to have are just too expensive, maybe it will rain on your wedding day, or maybe the DJ will play the wrong intro music. Whatever it is, in the grand scheme of things, are any of those really a big deal? You’ll still be married to your sweetheart at the end of it all. Have a Plan B for everything. (And if COVID has taught us anything, a Plan C, D, and E.) Accept that minor obstacles or mishaps will happen, let them roll off your back, and move on. When it comes to snafus on the big day, keep in mind that you are likely the only one who knows how things were “supposed to” be or go. Guests are typically none the wiser when something goes awry. We guarantee they won’t even notice. Don’t stress about it too much and get back to partying!