“When we think about wedding planning and etiquette, most of our focus goes toward preparing for the big day itself – and rightfully so!” says Mariah Grumet Humbert, founder of Old Soul Etiquette. “However, you’ll want to see the process all the way through and finish strong.”

As a published author of The Essential Wedding Planner and What Do I Do? Every Wedding Etiquette Question Answered, Mariah’s expertise reminds couples that post-wedding etiquette is just as meaningful as the planning itself. Thoughtful wedding thank-you notes, leaving warm reviews for the vendors who made your celebration possible, and expressing gratitude to your guests – extending this same care beyond the big day is just as important.

Mariah is redefining modern etiquette, emphasizing that it’s more than a checklist – it’s a way to build confidence, nurture lasting connections, and leave a beautiful impression long after your wedding. “Wrapping up your planning process with gratitude toward the people and businesses that made your event possible is a wonderful way to complete your journey,” she adds.

Here’s your complete guide to what to do after your wedding – from returning rentals and finalizing payments to managing all your post-wedding thank-you etiquette with poise and intention.

Rental Returns

If you’ve rented any items for your wedding, whether it’s decor, cutlery, linens, or other essentials, it’s important to return them promptly. Your contract likely includes a return date to help you avoid late fees. If your honeymoon immediately follows the wedding and conflicts with the return date, consider asking a family member to assist with the return. Beyond avoiding fees, returning items on time is also respectful to the company, which will likely need to prepare them for another event.

Final Vendor Payments & Tips

It’s more common for final payments with vendors to be settled before the wedding, but you may still have an outstanding balance with the venue or caterers based on your final guest count. Be sure to complete any outstanding payments promptly. It’s best practice to provide tips for your vendors in labeled envelopes at the time of service, but if you weren’t able to do that, you can always send a tip along with a thank-you note. 

Thank-You Notes

In Mariah’s wedding etiquette book and planner, she emphasizes the “why” behind different wedding traditions, while also encouraging readers to feel empowered to embrace what resonates with them and their wedding style. “Thank-you notes are one of those traditions I will continue to champion, no matter what type of wedding you choose to have. It is the best way to communicate your gratitude to the people and businesses who contributed to your dream day. I urge couples to take the time to handwrite notes that thank the person or vendor for the specific gift or job. You want it to feel personal and sincere,” Mariah explains. 

Here’s a list of people you’ll want to consider writing a thank-you note to:

• Wedding event attendees who brought/sent gifts (monetary or physical)
• Guests who could not attend events but sent gifts (monetary or physical)
• Your wedding party
• Anyone who played a major part in the planning process
• Anyone who financially contributed to/hosted any part of the wedding
• Vendors
• Officiant
• Anyone who hosted a wedding event for you (welcome party, brunch, etc.)

Mariah continues, “Although I truly believe it is never too late to send a thank-you note, I recommend sending them within 6 weeks of your wedding. If you receive gifts before your wedding, consider writing a thank-you note immediately upon receiving the gift so your friend or family member knows it arrived safely. You can send another one thanking them for joining you on your wedding day. I promise the thank-you notes will be so appreciated and worth your time and effort!”

Vendor Reviews

Aside from timely payments, clear communication, and tipping, writing positive reviews for the vendors you enjoyed working with is another way to show your gratitude. The wedding industry, like many others, relies heavily on reviews – they often guide couples in deciding which vendors to contact. “Taking a few moments to write a nice review if you had a positive experience is a real act of kindness and appreciation towards your hard-working vendors,” explains Mariah. On the other hand, if your experience wasn’t entirely positive (but nothing extreme), consider how a negative review might impact that person or business going forward.

Wedding Photos

When it comes to the etiquette of receiving your wedding photos – whether they are proofs or the full album – there are two main things to consider. First, share the album with your immediate family or those closest to you before posting on social media. It’s like sharing exciting news with loved ones before you share it with the world. Next, be sure to give proper credit to your vendors when posting photos online by tagging their business accounts and/or mentioning them in the caption.

Returning/Exchanging gifts

You don’t need to feel embarrassed about returning gifts that you won’t use or that may have come as duplicates. Be sure to send a thank-you note regardless, specifically acknowledging the original gift the person sent. No one needs to know about the return other than you and your partner!

About Mariah

Etiquette expert and author Mariah G. Humbert is leading a new era of etiquette. She champions the idea that etiquette is far more than a set of rules – it is a powerful tool to help individuals shine with confidence, forge meaningful connections, and distinguish themselves. With her warm and fresh approach to a timeless art, Mariah equips her clients to navigate the nuances of various social and professional situations with ease, kindness, intention, and a strong level of emotional intelligence.

Mariah left the corporate fashion world in 2021 to pave her own path, building a business centered around helping people share their gifts with the world in a polished and confident way. Mariah offers bespoke consultations, training sessions, and keynotes on various topics of modern etiquette, personal branding, special event preparation, and more. Think of an old-fashioned finishing school, only not old-fashioned at all! Her clientele spans a diverse range of industries, including high jewelry, finance, real estate, hospitality, entertainment, technology, education, and beyond. Mariah is based in New York City and is available to travel for speaking engagements and events by request.