Did you agree to stand by your best pal on their wedding day but don’t actually have any idea of what your maid of honor responsibilities are? Don’t worry; we got you. We’ve rounded up 20 of the most common tasks that are usually bestowed on this special role. If you’ve already accepted the soonlywed’s proposal, be prepared to help out with the following!
Pre-Wedding
Be a shoulder to cry on or have an ear to bend.
Your friend has A LOT of decisions to make and sometimes you just need another opinion. Whether it’s what color napkin goes best with the linens or if they should opt for a buffet versus a sit down dinner, your input matters to them. Give your thoughts when asked, and be there to ease the stress of wedding planning!
Attend wedding dress shopping, if invited.
Some like to do this alone, others like to bring their whole entourage. If your bestie falls into the latter category, try to clear your schedule for dress shopping, if possible. Your support will mean the world to them and you’ll be one of the first to get a sneak peek at THE dress! You’re sworn to secrecy though!
Be a liaison to the rest of the wedding party.
Start with collecting the email address and phone numbers of the remaining wedding party members. You’re going to need them! Part of a MOH’s duties is communicating with the wedding party party on behalf of the couple when asked. On the wedding day, also be prepared to corral everyone so everything goes off on time and without a hitch!
Help to plan and host the wedding shower.
Kick off the impending nuptials with a wedding shower in your bestie’s honor. You’ll be expected to work with the other wedding party members and usually the soonlywed’s mom to plan and host the event. In many cases, you may also be expected to help pitch in some funds to cover the costs. Have this discussion early so you’re completely aware of the role you’ll play!
Arrange the bachelorette party.
Whether they want a night out on the town or just a quiet spa day with their friends, pitch in to make their bachelorette party dreams come true. Research options, help to organize, and do whatever you can to make it a memorable event.
Attend pre-wedding events and meetings, as necessary.
From the engagement party to the wedding party lunch, cake tasting to dress fittings, part of being a maid of honor is simply showing up. If you can, be there for your friend whenever they asks. This might mean a few more appointments on your calendar as the wedding approaches, but trust us – they’ll truly appreciate your support.
Wedding Day
Get ready with the soonlywed and other party members.
This one might be a given, but it’s an important reminder. When signing up to be a MOH, you’re signing up to be there the ENTIRE wedding day. Even if you aren’t a morning person, try to rally for that 7 a.m. hair and makeup call time. After all, there are few things more fun than a glamorous morning of pampering and champagne!
Serve as a messenger between the couple.
It’s likely that the soon-to-be newlyweds exchange notes or gifts the morning of the wedding. But how do the said notes or gifts get to the other person? That’s where you and the best man come in! You’ll likely play Santa and make some special deliveries that day. Coordinate timing with the couple and the best man so that things are happening at the best time (usually after the photographer and videographer arrive!)
Be prepared in case of emergencies.
Anything – and we mean ANYTHING – can happen on the wedding day. Keep a few essential supplies on hand. Things like scissors, Shout wipes, bobby pins, and hairspray will come in handy in ways you likely can’t even imagine. Pack a small emergency kit by simply gathering a few household items and you’ll be prepared for any situation. Wondering what to include? Read our suggestions for a well-equipped wedding day emergency kit!
Keep vendor contact info handy.
Makeup artist running late? Not sure when the limo is arriving? Need to send a last-minute change to the photographer? The couple’s only responsibility should be enjoying getting married. Prior to the wedding, ask them to collect cell phone numbers from all of their vendors and then keep them within your reach on the wedding day. If an issue arises, step in on their behalf and manage the mischief!
Make sure the soonlywed eats.
Nobody likes a hangry nearlywed. While they may not want to or may claim they’re too nervous, try to get them to eat something in the morning. It will keep them fueled for the long day ahead. Unfortunately, they likely won’t get a chance to eat much at the reception. They’ll be too busy saying hello to all of their guests! In this case, see if the venue can pack up dinner for a yummy late night snack they’re sure to be in need of.
Calm the soonlywed down.
Above all else, this is likely your most important job! A calm soonlywed is a happy soonlywed. Do whatever you can to ease their wedding day jitters. Make them a mimosa (but go easy on the booze), talk them off a ledge, and keep any wedding day stressors away if you can. If they’re calm, cool, and collected, the day will be much more enjoyable…not only for them but for everyone!
Help keep everyone on schedule.
This is a BIG responsibility! If one thing runs behind, it could impact the flow of the rest of the day. Do your best to keep everyone on schedule. Know what time hair and makeup begins, what time you need to leave for the ceremony, and how much time you have for photos. Keep an eye on your phone and start lighting some fires if you start running behind!
Fluff the train and veil at the altar.
Your BFF paid GOOD money for that dress. Make sure it looks picture perfect at all times. After the long walk down the aisle, bend down and straighten out thei= train and veil. If there is any walking during the ceremony, you’ll want to make sure and stay on top of them dress too. Right after they’re pronounced as married, do one last train check before the recession!
Hold the bouquet.
Once your soonlywed hits the altar, you’ll want to take their bouquet from them so they can hold their parnter’s hand and participate in the ceremony. Yes, this means you’ll be holding two bouquets. Keep in mind, you may need to set them down or pass them off to another wedding party member when the train needs fluffing (see above)! Be prepared to hand it back to the newlywed right after the first kiss!
Carry the partner’s ring.
Even if there is a ring bearer, you’ll be the real ring security! Long gone are the days when the rings are actually carried into the ceremony by a child. There were way too many situations gone wrong! Instead, have somewhere you can stash the partner’s ring until the officiant asks for it. You can wear it on your own finger, keep it in your pocket (THIS is why every dress needs pockets), or tie it to the ribbons on your bouquet. Just make sure it’s in a safe place!
Help bustle the dress.
Practice makes perfect! That morning while you’re getting glammed up, ask for a quick tutorial on how to bustle the dress (the seamstress or the wedding dress boutique will give her instructions). Make sure you two make a plan for WHEN the bustling will happen too! Usually, it’s after portraits are over and right before the reception introductions. You’ll want to head into a private room or the restroom when it’s time to bustle.
Give a toast.
Remember, it’s a toast not a roast! A 2 – 3 minute speech is typically expected of every maid of honor, and it should reflect the relationship you have with the newlywed and the well wishes you’re sending to the new couple. If you’re need some more encouragement, read our tips on giving a killer wedding toast!
Make sure the couple has a good time.
It is one of the most important day of their lives! Do whatever you can to make it absolutely amazing. Get them a drink, pack up a box of cookies for them, ask the DJ to play their favorite song. Whatever it is, ask yourself what you can do to make the couple’s evening even better and THEN GO DO IT!
Tie up any other loose ends.
Don’t think that as soon as the toast is over so are your responsibilities. You should be the newlywed’s ride or die until the very last minute of the night. This might mean you’re pitching in to things like packing gifts into the car, making sure they doesn’t leave without their bouquet, and helping to pass out sparklers for the couple’s exit. Be prepared to jump in and help with a myriad of last minute tasks!
