Believe it or not, there are a few things you'll learn when you get engaged. Whether you’ve been engaged for a few weeks, a few months, or even a few years, I’m sure that preparing for marriage and planning a wedding have taught you a few lessons. Who knew an engagement ring came along with such a learning curve? Prepared to be schooled because here are 10 things you’ll learn when you say YES!
Whether or not it was the proposal you thought it was going to be, it was perfect in its own way.
Maybe you dreamed of a big, public proposal with all of the bells and whistles but instead got a quiet, heartfelt moment at home. Maybe something crazy happened, the ring was dropped, and you had to look for it on your hands and knees. However your proposal went down, I’m willing to bet good money that it was still pretty awesome.
The questions start the minute you get engaged. And they don’t ever stop.
When’s the big day? What are your colors? What kind of dress are you going to wear? WHEN ARE YOU HAVING KIDS? Omg the interrogations. Meanwhile you’ve been engaged for a hot minute and literally haven’t thought of any of this yet. People mean well but it can be sooooo annoying. Just smile, bite your tongue, try to be polite, and then scream internally.
People can be rude.
Hellooooo the question about having kids! Remember that opinions are like belly buttons; everyone has one. And unfortunately, some people feel it’s ok to voice theirs when it comes to your engagement. You’ll hear all kinds of thoughts on the proposal, your ring size, hell probably even your fiancé. They’ll ask if they’ll be invited to the wedding, if they can bring a date, and if they have to bring a gift. Again, just smile and nod and be a gracious bride. Then hit the gym to work out some of that pent up anger.
But mostly everyone will be really happy for you!
I mean who doesn’t love a wedding? An engagement just makes people feel good because it gives me them hope and, if they’re already married, reminds them of their own special time. So know that for every person who does have a snarky comment about your proposal (see above), there are dozens of others who are genuinely excited for you!
You’ll catch yourself staring at your engagement ring. Like all the time.
It’s one of those things that you’ll start doing subconsciously and before you know it, it’s been five minutes and you can’t take your eyes off your finger. I’ve been married for over four years and I still catch myself doing this. The novelty never wears off 😉
You don’t HAVE to start planning your wedding right away.
As a matter of fact, I would advise that you NOT. Being engaged is SUCH a special time; there’s literally no other period in your life like it. I say ENJOY IT. Take your time, revel in the new relationship status, and just relax. Once the wedding day is here, the engagement period is over. So I say milk it for all it’s worth!
Planning a wedding can be really hard.
It’s seriously no easy task. There are dozens of vendors to hire, thousands of dollars to spend, and a million decisions to make. No wonder so many couples find it overwhelming. While all of the pretty details might seem fun to coordinate, know that you have a really big task ahead of you. It doesn’t have to be super stressful, but it will be a lot of work!
And making a guest list can be even harder.
Friends and family members add up quickly! While you might want every single person in your life present on your big day, your budget likely won’t allow it. Don’t forget that your fiancé will have his or her own guest list as well! Plus, the parents will likely have input. Ahhhhh where do you cut it off? I can’t answer that for you. Just know that it will take quite a bit of time…and quite a bit of wine…to nail down!
It’s your day! But it’s also not.
The wedding doesn’t just belong to the couple. It’s also a special day for parents, grandparents, siblings, and really close family members. So while you and your fiancé might be the center of attention, there will be others that you’ll need to take into consideration when making wedding decisions. I am a firm believer that your wedding should be reflective of YOU, but you’ll need to strike a fine balance between that and keeping the peace among family members.
Setting expectations early on can really help you in the long run.
With the above being said, I do think there are some things you can do to make sure the wedding stays under your control. Managing expectations from the very beginning can pay dividends. If you’re always dreamed of an intimate beach wedding, tell your family members up front about the plan to keep things small. Hate the thought of having a bridal party? The sooner you let everyone know it’ll just be you and your fiancé, the better. Stick to your guns on the things that are most important to you. Not everyone will agree but hopefully they’ll respect your wishes.
If you just got engaged, have you experienced any of these things yet? What were some things you learned after you said Yes? How did you deal with them? Comment below!